Wednesday 26 March 2014

My Fall Will Be For You

So I decided I would start this blog to share my random thoughts and to explain a bit of my thought process behind my pictures, modelling style and processes.

I thought I would start with this recent collaboration with Iceni
(Http://www.purpleport.com/portfolio/iceni)
He does some marvellous work, I really recommend you check it out if you like conceptual photography and art.



The title comes from the lyrics in the Nightwish song 'Ghost Love Score' - it's a beautiful piece at an epic 10 minutes long, highly recommended http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYjIlHWBAVo

The actual concept is from personal experience, a few years ago I was suffering from depression and anxiety, I was in the wrong place with the wrong partner, sacked from a job unfairly (though now I see that its probably the best thing that happened to me), I lost all faith in myself and became entirely unhappy. I grew to hate myself, I didn't even like what I saw in the mirror.

Now when this happens, despite the fact your friends and family support you and ask if you are ok or need help, you grow so down in yourself that you close off to the love and support around you and feel that you are something of a burden to them.

This is how I felt until I met a person who made me see that life is what you make it and that its far too short to be with the wrong person or take a path that you're unhappy with. I realised that the only person that could stop me from falling into this spiral of negativity was myself. It wasn't going to be easy, I was going to have to be brave and plunge into the unknown to save myself. So one morning I woke up, I ended my 6 year relationship with 1 sentence and left immediately, I started to model again ( I previously wasn't 'allowed' to) and slowly I pulled myself back up to the surface.

I saved myself.




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