Thursday, 10 March 2016

Sometimes you have to let go of the cloud....

Today's post and photograph/art piece is about letting go of the things that are bad for you.
It could be a bad habit, a poisonous friendship, an abusive partner - sometimes we just need to realise that the longer we hold on, the more it harms us and the negativity becomes a part of us. The sun can't truly shine and we can't feel happiness until we let go of the rain. The longer you hold on -  the heavier your mass becomes, making it harder and harder to walk away.
Sometimes you have to let go of the cloud....

Photography and photoshop wizardry from Blacklight photography - check out more of his work here

Sunday, 25 January 2015


Ok this is kind of a personal one but I've realised it's very much part of who I am and what I do.
As a model I've always found to really get across themes and concept to people, its best to become what I do, so the moods I'm in, the characters I play - in the moment they feel very real to me.

I imagine myself in scenarios or bring back memories or thoughts to achieve different looks and facial expressions, sometimes I play music in my head, for example if I want a softer more relaxed face, I will play a 90s soppy ballad in my head, if I want a bit of attitude, I'll opt for Pantera!

Sometimes when I do this and the concept is quite a serious one, the emotions or memory will take over and I will go into what I call my phase mode, its a point at which I no longer think about what I do and I just go with it, allow myself to feel it and I get my most believable pictures. I feel it actually makes me stronger, if people can't feel something when they look at your pictures, what does it achieve?

I had something quite bad happen to me a few years ago, it was on a shoot and my boundaries were seriously overstepped - I froze up and let it happen because quite honestly I didn't feel safe and felt that I would do whatever I had to in order to get back on the train home and away from the nightmare. The experience didn't stop me modelling, it made me more cautious which is a good thing - I can't express enough how important reference checking is and indeed being truthful about these experiences so we can prevent other people being hurt.

I worked through it, with the help of an amazing and very caring partner, I mostly felt shame at putting myself into a situation where I could be taken advantage of, so much so I couldn't even tell my best friend, I actually still can't, lest she thinks less of me. Anyway having got over it doesn't mean it doesn't still affect me. Some words and certain things trigger memories which cause me to have panic attacks, tears or both.

In my recent shoot with Andy Green we took some very raw portraits using a reflective surface, I found it quite therapeutic, staring at myself for so long, it felt like I could look inside myself. I pulled out the sadness, the grief and the pain and I put it into the reflection, into the pictures - the emotion you see is very real. But after the shots were taken I felt that I left that part of me there, where it couldn't hurt me.

Everybody needs some form of art in their life so they can really express themselves, somewhere to get rid of the demons and let their imagination free. For me this is it and it is who I am...

Photography by Andy Green Photography -
I have to say working with Andy is a pleasure, he really thinks outside of the box in the simplest terms, the techniques he used for this particular shoot worked so well and you can see how well in the images below.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Music is my prostitute

'Music is my prostitute, its my whore... so f**king pay me!'
Photography by Dale Wesley Hill (

Limited edition prints of this image are available at:

I love music, I can't imagine life without it - if there's civilization elsewhere in the universe, they will definitely have 2 things we do: maths (because we need to be able to count) and music.
Its a form of communication; it can mean I love you, I don't want to talk right now, I'm grieving, I'm happy...the meanings are endless.

Much like art its subject to opinion and personal connotations too. I have songs I can no longer listen to or because they're associated with break ups or funerals. 

My partner made me mix cd's when we were at school together,  I really don't think there is a much more romantic gesture, the music spoke to me - it said I want you to be part of my world. A thing I didn't realise until much, much later (9 years to be exact!)

I wanted to get across in this shoot just how pleasurable music can be and how I feel it is part of me.

More images from my shoot with Dale Wesley Hill below...

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

There is a light that never goes out

Recently I worked with the fascinating mind of Andrew McCormick, it was a short yet sweet shoot and a lot was achieved in a short time. Andrew excels at conceptual imagery, his pictures are the kind of visuals one might see in a dream...


He was kind enough to help me create an image I had in my head and this is that image:

'There is a light that never goes out'

Other than my love of the song which (for you people who haven't heard this masterpiece by The Smiths) you can listen to here, I wanted to create this image because its how I feel my brain works, I have a series of lightbulb moments and inspiration strikes me in the side of the head with what feels like a giant mallet or the light remains off and all original thought is gone.

I found this when I was younger- it doesn't work when you're trying to research ideas for a graphic design project, you start searching for relevant imagery and then your head suddenly goes 'Ooh ooh, don't bother with that, I just had the most fabulous idea, you have to do this!' and suddenly you bypass all the research or deliberately find things associated with that one idea. It did make for some really cool pieces but didn't work so much in my favour on the grades front :S

Anyway my mind still pretty much works this way with the bright idea moments but having met so many talented and inspiring artists and having a constant feed to so many wonderful images, my light now remains on, sometimes it dims but it never goes out.

All images copyright of Andrew McCormick

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Yesterdays News

Photography and Image Manipulation by Lorna's Photography -

Recently I've been pondering about social media and the internet, is it a good thing or a bad thing? I think its both.

I think it would only be fair that I hold it in a positive light - after all, I basically depend on it, if I didn't use social media, I wouldn't have met and worked with all the wonderful people I have over the last few years, I wouldn't have a constant dripfeed of amazing images to inspire me and my concepts, I wouldn't be able to speak to the people that create these marvels. I owe social media so much.

Looking at it on a non personal level, it allows people to connect with likeminded individuals, find love, friendship, it allows someone to feel like part of this world, people can share stories, music, jokes, images and that's a beautiful thing.

And yet it disturbs me, everybody has access to it - I hear more and more stories of people that have been burgled as a result of saying they were 'going on holiday' in a status or shared that picture of the kids in front of their family home without thinking.

Where social media can be used to spread love it can also be used to spread hate, people spread their dirty laundry across facebooks pages, divorce settlements go public, someone's name gets smeared in the dirt and things get unpretty. Everyone has an opinion but do they have a right to share it? We do have freedom of speech after all.

I see 'news' stories shared of pure horror and shock, nothing but a hoax but if enough people share it, does it become actual news? Lets take a look at the definition of news; 'a newly received or noteworthy information, especially about recent events.' 

Seems to be correct but how much actual news are we ignoring as a result of this?

Last week there was a huge mudslide in Washington, the fatalities were high, others were missing; it was a complete tragedy.

The same week A-list celebrity couple Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow announced they were to split up. 

Twitter and Facebook obviously favoured the latter.

And so thats what this image is: a question, what really matters and what is just yesterdays news?

Monday, 31 March 2014

Sea of dreams

Recently I was extremely lucky to work with the talented Lorna's Photography ( on her new Wonderland project, she is just fantastic at conceptual photography and always has fab ideas.
She helped me shoot one of mine too, will blog about that a bit later on.

Not only is she very talented but also extremely down to earth and genuinely lovely, she puts 100% into the execution of her shoots and for this particular one dragged a bed down to the beach, built it and dragged it back.


Now that's dedication!!!

There was the most hilarious moment as we walked back to the car, Lorna dragging the bed back and I was walking along in my fluffy bear eared onesie with batman hoodie to keep warm (see pic underneath) - a group of older folk, took one look at us and one said 'we won't ask!', another one said 'Oh, its a bed is it? Did you find it?!!' Yes, because of course we walked on the beach, thought ooh thats a nice bit of furniture, its missing an end but that doesn't matter and picked it up. I know we looked a little bit strange but really!

All in all though it was a really fun shoot and I have to thank Lorna for a great day, can't wait to see the rest :)

Lorna has blogged all about the concept behind 'Sea of Dreams' here: 
It's well worth checking out :)

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Product review - models own nail polish - Speckled eggs in magpie green

I've used models own nail polishes a few times now, they have a great variety of colours and styles so there's always something that suits.

In the past while I've appreciated the quality of the tone and shine,  I've found that the polish flakes extremely quickly, sometimes in the space of a day.

Last night I road tested models own new Easter inspired 'speckled eggs' in green magpie,
The Polish is of a nice consistency, not too clarity or fluid and brushes on like a dream. I was impressed to find it dried very quickly too, taking only a few minutes to set. The minor drawback is the smell, sure everyone who uses nail polish will be familiar with the strong chemical smell it creates but I'm used to it and I found this to be a wee bit overpowering!

After 2 coats, my talons looked like this:

It's a really nice effect - obviously intended to resemble a birds egg but it has more of a mint choc chip resonance (not that that's a bad thing!)

It's nice as a Spring trend look, definitely perfect for easter or indeed any time you fancy something a bit different. However the model and creative in me sees the chance to do something reptilian or amphibious in appearance, I think it could make for a really interesting look. The cogs in my mind are turning!

Models own is available at Superdrugs and in the small independent bottle stores which are soooo cute!
*goes glassy eyed*

I however took advantage of the great deal they've got on their website at the moment with 6 polishes for £20 which considering they're normally 5-7 quid each is pretty good going.